A recent Congressional UAP hearing resulted in one big takeaway: some Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena are hiding in the ocean. The public response to this announcement? A collective, “…and?” Listen, we already have plenty of terrors in the deep—what’s a few extraterrestrial ones?
As a child, I watched a lot of nature documentaries. I grew up in the “there are many benefits to being a marine biologist” generation. THIS IS MY MOMENT. So, let’s dive in. Here are just a few of the known horrors lurking in the ocean:
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Goblin sharks
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Giant squids
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Deep-sea anglerfish
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Mantis shrimp
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Blobfish
Okay, so that last one isn’t necessarily a terror—more of a sad little guy. The point is, there are already plenty of monsters in the 1% of the ocean humans actually know about. The vast majority of the ocean? We barely understand what lies within the depths.
What Did the Congressional UAP Hearing Find?
A Pentagon report covering incidents from May 1, 2023, to June 1, 2024, revealed that the All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO) has received over 757 UAP reports. Of these, 485 came from the specified period, while 272 were from 2021 and 2022.
Most of these objects were rationally explained as things like balloons, birds, or drones. But many remain unexplained. Could it be that the blobfish has been an alien this whole time, finally calling its brethren to join it in the depths? I mean… maybe.
Why Didn’t This Make Bigger Headlines?
The national media barely covered this story—not because it’s unimportant (or vaguely threatening nervous laughter), but because… well, have you seen everything happening in the United States over the past two weeks? We’ve been a little busy. Besides, humans generally aren’t great at navigating the unknown. Why else are Shark Week and North Sea TikTok so popular?
Why Should We Care?
Jokes aside, this actually is a big deal. Some of the unidentified UAPs were seen shadowing aircraft, suggesting they have the potential to impact national security and aircraft safety. Sure, it’s fun to imagine the blobfish’s alien buddies toodling around in a space submarine, but this warrants at least a little concern.
Final Thoughts
The ocean is monster soup—it just is. If aliens are hiding down there, best of luck to them. Between the sharks, anglerfish, giant squids, and volcanoes just hanging out in the midnight zone… you know what? Never mind. The aliens can have the ocean. It’s theirs now.
