Sure, there are people who judge you by your high school. But the real assessment made once you’re past, oh, 25 is based on geography. “Where do you live?” sounds like an innocuous question, but in a place like St. Louis, your answer is likely to induce a lot of assumptions. After all, you chose […]
Sure, there are people who judge you by your high school. But the real assessment made once you’re past, oh, 25 is based on geography.
“Where do you live?” sounds like an innocuous question, but in a place like St. Louis, your answer is likely to induce a lot of assumptions. After all, you chose your neighborhood for a reason. Someone who bought a house in the Central West End instead of, say, Tower Grove South is signaling a major part of their outlook and ethos.
And we’ll be the first to admit, a lot of the assumptions being made about you based on where you live are probably wildly wrong — to paraphrase Tolstoy, each city resident is unhappy in its own way. Every St. Louis neighborhood is a mixed bag of fascinating individuals. But for a glimpse at what signifiers you’re throwing off without even realizing it, read on.
COURTESY FLICKR/
PAUL SABLEMAN
Benton Park
You have both tattoos and really nice hardwood floors.
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COURTESY OF FLICKR/
PAUL SABLEMAN
Lafayette Square
You are ridiculously proud of your 143-year-old house, even if the hippie who bought it for a song in 1970 did all the work.
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The Gate District
You like old houses as much as anyone in Lafayette Square, but you are not willing to pay $1 million for one.
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Old North
You are artsy, and you actually like racial diversity, instead of just talking about it.
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Hyde Park
You love beautiful old architecture and after years of maintaining it, you can’t wait for the NGA to finally open so you can cash in.
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O’Fallon
You are very tired of explaining that your neighborhood is not the O’Fallon with McMansions in St. Charles County or the low-key O’Fallon in Illinois but an actual city neighborhood that apparently some people have never heard of.
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Cherokee Street
You moved to the street to be an artist, but you sure spend a lot of time at the bars.
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Central West End
You moved to St. Louis from a larger city, and this is the closest thing you could find to the urban experience. But what’s up with that big old chess piece?
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Wash Avenue
You refuse to give up on the urban dream, and we salute you.
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PHUONG BUI
Laclede’s Landing
You are a true pioneer, and we’re honestly not sure you exist. Does anyone actually live in Laclede’s Landing?
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West End
You’re in the shadow of the Central West End, but fuck all this north city/south city crap; you are proud to tell people you’re from the West Side.
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St. Louis Place
You’re a sucker for history and will spend hundreds of thousands of dollars restoring a Second Empire house that has no electricity or working bathrooms.
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The Patch
There are some incredible restaurants in your ‘hood and some even more incredible history. Yet every time you leave your house you’re reminded of the fallen condition of mankind — doubly so if you happen to drive down Broadway.
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COURTESY PHOTO
Tower Grove East
You finally gave up looking at houses in Tower Grove South and Shaw, and now you have amazing pocket doors and way more square footage than you’d ever get west of Grand — but you still can’t help feeling like everyone else is at a party, and you’re not invited.
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Shaw
You love city life, but you can’t believe you’re paying this much for a constant game of fireworks or gunshots — and why is every other family on your block Catholic?
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Compton Heights
You are either old money or you’ve purchased a house that the previous old money owner systematically ran into the ground … and now your life involves desperate repairs to the ceiling of the third-floor ballroom.
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Tower Grove South
You’re a progressive who loves public parks, believes in science and knows Black lives matter — and you’ve got the yard signs to prove it.
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Tower Grove Heights
You’re also progressive and also believe in science, and you’re fancy but, like, low key. Look at all the restaurants that you can walk to!
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COURTESY OF AFSANEH RAZANI
Skinker-DeBaliviere
You are either a Wash U student or damn sick of Wash U students.
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